Many new students are often filled with the euphoria of getting admitted into the university of their choice without bothering so much on what they are likely going to face on resumption. Imagine getting back to your room after a hectic day in school and being welcomed by a frustrated roommate. Yes, living with a roommate (s) could be tough, especially those who lack understanding which could lead to incessant conflicts. Even though you find someone who understands you, it can’t be so forever since everyone is brought up differently and from different homes with varying personalities. Sincerely, you can’t find an ideal roommate and the moment you realize that it is better to get yourself acquainted with the common roommate conflicts and how to resolve roommate conflicts.
We have compiled a couple of tips on how to handle or resolve potential conflicts with your roommate (s) and save yourself a lot of stress.
In any form of relationship, politeness and clear communication is king! The same thing applies to you if you live with your roommate (s). One pertinent thing is to have a list of rules that cushions every occupant’s action in the room and this could include placement of your belongings, when and when not to make noise, when and when not to receive visitors, cleaning of the common spaces like the room, etc. Preferably, this should be the first thing you and your roommate (s) do and agree on upon occupying the space.
However, it should be known to you that not everyone (even you) will quickly adapt to the rules already laid down. You shouldn’t capitalize on anyone’s misdeed, instead, politely remind the other person of what you agreed on and there will be an adjustment. Moreover, if it were to be a legal issue, do make sure you revisit your roommate agreement which was signed at the beginning of the year to make sure you are on the same page. In the context of being polite, you should avoid using extreme words that make your partner feel attacked.
Why can’t you be selective in the kind of confrontations and arguments you get yourself involved in? Thinking you could be right at all time will only cause more problems or complicate the ones you have already. Just stay off from any arguments (especially those that do not worth it) when it’s obvious you are on the wrong side, and you may get involved when you have an upper hand, however, you shouldn’t be rude while addressing such issues. You may also back yourself up using your room’s guide.
• Put yourself in the other person’s position before reacting to an issue
• Try as much as possible to know what actually gets you angry before taking actions – It might be due to frustrations from other events and your roommate might be oblivious of that – Carefully evaluate the issue on the ground!
Respect Others’ Opinions & Compromise
There are sometimes your roommate who would come up with a suggestion thinking it is for the betterment of both of you. Note that before such an idea could be brought up, there is every possibility that he/she has gone over it, therefore, you should be ready to hear it out rather than shunning him/her or pretending not to listen to what is being said. You should shun the mentality of me versus them and each of you should work towards fixing things up as they emanate.
Also, when you see your roommate do something wrong, it is very easy to think you would never do the same if you were him/her. Ever! However, do you know you can subconsciously find yourself doing the same? How then do you explain yourself? Definitely, no way and that’s where you have to compromise. Try as much as possible to be open-minded whenever you have a discussion with them. There might be a need for you guys to change to fit the other’s needs.
It is normal for you to think you would be best of friends with your roommate (s). However, that’s not true! Most good roommates are usually not best friends, however, they have only taken time to understand, respect, and polite to one another before becoming what they are. In the same manner, the worst roommate (s) are those that have contrary characteristics. Either to be the best or worst roommates is dependent on each of you and it starts from you!
As simple as this phrase is, it needs to be taken seriously because it can save you a whole lot of stress and help you prevent unnecessary insults. Before coming to school try as much as possible to get those things that are indispensable or essential to you; gadgets, clothing, etc, and be contented with them. Your roommate might likely possess some other things you don’t have, you should not be tempted to borrow from them.
It won’t be reasonable to borrow your roommate’s cloth or any other wearable even if you must borrow from them. However, the best thing you should do in this context is to save up and get yourself a similar thing.
It is very possible to have a roommate that becomes a good friend if you are lucky enough. However, it is not necessary to spend your whole time with them, instead, you should look for other friends and enjoy your time with them. Your roommate(s) may also want to do the same, don’t be emotional about it.
If there are ongoing conflicts between you and your roommate (s) and seems that all resolution tips you know have been exhausted, it is time to discuss it with your resident assistant (RA) to help resolve and prevent any further conflicts. Tell them about how the issues started and schedule a time they could speak with both parties – You never can tell the influence of a third party on the issue.
You might want to seek help from those in the neighboring rooms, it might not be the best approach since virtually of you are of the same category and there is a possibility they like one person than the other, therefore not being fair in their judgment.
In conclusion, when it comes to conflict resolution it is quite reasonable to nip it at the bud, otherwise, it might become greater than what you can handle later. Familiarizing yourself with the roommate conflict resolution tips stated in this article will go a long way toward living in harmony with your partner.
We, at SharedEasy, are here to make your stay in college worthwhile by relieving you of roommate-associated conflicts. Our co-living services are top-notch and you can always have some privacy anytime you want. Staying with us is definitely not what you will regret. Colive with us today!